Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Once Upon A Time, I Made A Template
And it was pretty good. I swear, I'm going to make a new one. It's kind of a personal soul searching mission now, you know. Just like those other personal missions I have right now (become more of a buddhist, learn how to attract the opposite sex, become the most powerful being in the universe, et cetera).
Title
Man, you can spend all your time looking for a needle in a haystack that contains only hay.
You can try to find meaning where there is none.
You can think about things that seem legitimate, but they're really just constructs of your mind.
You can get stuck in a trap you invent for yourself and never get out.
I can wonder about every little thing in life, paralyzed, unable to take any sort of action, or I can act, and do, and be a fool. I can be everyone's fool. Am I everyone's fool?
I can watch myself wither away and rot. Hey, I'm in my twentieth year of rotting in my own skin. Don't I look sophisticated and rigid? Don't I bring an air of formality to every occasion, with my stone-faced expression, unwavering voice, and what seems to be an inability to associate with people? Getting along well with others, does not necessarily entail allowing others to know you. It's easy to be well liked when you don't do or say anything. It's easy to be well-liked when you do not speak your mind. If life is a series of cliffs with pits between them, and to jump from one cliff to another constitutes a meaningful life experience, I am the person who does not jump of his own volition. Thus far, I have mostly been pushed to the next cliff, or pulled onto the next cliff. It's comfortable, and it's also maddening. My fear, I guess, is that if I try to jump on my own, I will fall. I have built up this house of cards; the returns are diminishing. Here I am, building up to the top, and it's taking more and more effort, but the building becomes smaller as you go up too.
I'm in my twentieth year of putting on an act. The act is that I have all my shit together. If you know me well enough, you realize it's all built on the same foundation as a house of cards.
You can try to find meaning where there is none.
You can think about things that seem legitimate, but they're really just constructs of your mind.
You can get stuck in a trap you invent for yourself and never get out.
I can wonder about every little thing in life, paralyzed, unable to take any sort of action, or I can act, and do, and be a fool. I can be everyone's fool. Am I everyone's fool?
I can watch myself wither away and rot. Hey, I'm in my twentieth year of rotting in my own skin. Don't I look sophisticated and rigid? Don't I bring an air of formality to every occasion, with my stone-faced expression, unwavering voice, and what seems to be an inability to associate with people? Getting along well with others, does not necessarily entail allowing others to know you. It's easy to be well liked when you don't do or say anything. It's easy to be well-liked when you do not speak your mind. If life is a series of cliffs with pits between them, and to jump from one cliff to another constitutes a meaningful life experience, I am the person who does not jump of his own volition. Thus far, I have mostly been pushed to the next cliff, or pulled onto the next cliff. It's comfortable, and it's also maddening. My fear, I guess, is that if I try to jump on my own, I will fall. I have built up this house of cards; the returns are diminishing. Here I am, building up to the top, and it's taking more and more effort, but the building becomes smaller as you go up too.
I'm in my twentieth year of putting on an act. The act is that I have all my shit together. If you know me well enough, you realize it's all built on the same foundation as a house of cards.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Weather
The weather is fucking terrible today.
It feels like leaving the house was a mistake.
What a great day to stay inside all day. What a great day to stay inside all day, with a companion.
It feels like leaving the house was a mistake.
What a great day to stay inside all day. What a great day to stay inside all day, with a companion.
Friday, September 09, 2005
What's been going on:
Wow, it would seem that I have regular readers now. Hello, regular readers! I say this because a) people are commenting on some of my entries, and b) a reader has said that it has been a while since my last update: This is true, it has. Sorry. I will fill you all in, however many there may be. Something tells me I'd be lucky if I needed all ten of my fingers to count you on, though.
First, school has started and my classes are pretty exciting this semester. Especially my communication theory course. The professor is pretty amazing. He curses liberally, which I really enjoy. There's also a great deal of substance to what he says. I agree with a lot of his ideas. I may devote a future entry to talking about this professor.
Today, I sat down with a notebook and at a terminal here on campus and really looked at what I have for my code on this website right now. I find that I'm more successful with editing my website's layout if I draw it on paper according to the box model idea of CSS. It's helped immensely. It has helped me to see where I am wrong, and where Blogger is just incompetant (No offense Blogger, but you do have some issues that need to be worked on). Whoever designed the template that I am basing my website on seems to have code that just has no place in there, and of course there are no comments anywhere in the entire motherfucking page of code. That's not exactly helpful.
So yeah, classes, progress with this mess of a website, and also, I have been writing fairly consistently in a notebook, the very same one I used to check my coding / layout, and I plan on transcribing some of the entries onto this blog, so that they may be read by those of you who are interested. I have not forgotten about my little photography projects. I just haven't had too much time to take pictures. What I have had time for though, is some fooling around in Photoshop.
Here is a direct link to the image I made last night, it is hosted at imageshack. I tried to post this as a blog entry last night but it broke the fucking page: http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/4525/newyork093copy4jk.jpg
The source image was me doing the infamous "Mr. Roper" pose on Sunday night in New York City. I will post a link to that source image when I get back home, so that you may see the difference between the two. I know it isn't much, but I'm actually quite proud of myself for it; I think it is a respectable job.
More to come, in the future.
First, school has started and my classes are pretty exciting this semester. Especially my communication theory course. The professor is pretty amazing. He curses liberally, which I really enjoy. There's also a great deal of substance to what he says. I agree with a lot of his ideas. I may devote a future entry to talking about this professor.
Today, I sat down with a notebook and at a terminal here on campus and really looked at what I have for my code on this website right now. I find that I'm more successful with editing my website's layout if I draw it on paper according to the box model idea of CSS. It's helped immensely. It has helped me to see where I am wrong, and where Blogger is just incompetant (No offense Blogger, but you do have some issues that need to be worked on). Whoever designed the template that I am basing my website on seems to have code that just has no place in there, and of course there are no comments anywhere in the entire motherfucking page of code. That's not exactly helpful.
So yeah, classes, progress with this mess of a website, and also, I have been writing fairly consistently in a notebook, the very same one I used to check my coding / layout, and I plan on transcribing some of the entries onto this blog, so that they may be read by those of you who are interested. I have not forgotten about my little photography projects. I just haven't had too much time to take pictures. What I have had time for though, is some fooling around in Photoshop.
Here is a direct link to the image I made last night, it is hosted at imageshack. I tried to post this as a blog entry last night but it broke the fucking page: http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/4525/newyork093copy4jk.jpg
The source image was me doing the infamous "Mr. Roper" pose on Sunday night in New York City. I will post a link to that source image when I get back home, so that you may see the difference between the two. I know it isn't much, but I'm actually quite proud of myself for it; I think it is a respectable job.
More to come, in the future.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Doing this shit again,
In preparation for a real website with a real domain, maybe not even using Blogger. We'll see. I'm just fooling around and seeing what I can do to create a real working template using all of the Blogger design code and whatnot. It's going better than I expected so far.
I hope this doesn't turn out to be another one of my unfinished / unfinishable projects. My life is nothing but unfinished projects.
I hope this doesn't turn out to be another one of my unfinished / unfinishable projects. My life is nothing but unfinished projects.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Blacks On The Run
[20:51] Nigerchocolate: my mom said she saw you and useff running through a field
[20:52] SheerKann: LOL, yeah we were running yesterday
[20:52] Nigerchocolate: she was like "they were all sweaty and looked like fugitives"
[20:52] SheerKann: Glorious
[20:53] Nigerchocolate: so I told her, "wrong thing to say" and went back to sleep
[20:52] SheerKann: LOL, yeah we were running yesterday
[20:52] Nigerchocolate: she was like "they were all sweaty and looked like fugitives"
[20:52] SheerKann: Glorious
[20:53] Nigerchocolate: so I told her, "wrong thing to say" and went back to sleep
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Obviously,
Some people do things just so that they can talk about them with others.
This annoys me to no end
This annoys me to no end
Saturday, August 20, 2005
HUMAN MONSTERS
YOU HUMAN MONSTERS ARE EVERYWHERE AND VERY FEW PEOPLE SEE YOU. I HOWEVER, SEE YOU WHEREVER YOU LURK, STALKING THE INNOCENT AND OPENING YOUR MONSTROUS, SALIVATING MAWS, READY TO DEVOUR THE HEART, SOUL, AND PERSONALITY OF EVERYTHING YOU CAN GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO.
Monsters are everywhere, people. Do not be afraid, though. You've seen them your entire lives.
Monsters are everywhere, people. Do not be afraid, though. You've seen them your entire lives.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
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