Ok, Different:

I changed things. All I did was use one of the pre-created templates. I was tired of the way it looked, and do not yet have the drive to recreate it the way it was. Not that anyone reads this any more, but if you'd like to use my old template, just email me.


I'm listening to "Truancy". One of my favorite songs. Quite possibly my favorite song from Fantastic Damage.


Now, an observation that I wrote on a scrap of paper a few days ago:
As human beings, many of us take any coincidence between the passions of ourselves and another human being to be divine; as reasons why we have to spend time with the aforementioned person, no matter how little we may actually have in common. I believe this is a mistake on the part of mankind in general, in this culture at least.

Hey

I plan on changing the layout soon.

The more I listen to Elliott Smith,

The sadder and sadder I get that he is gone. I know it's a little late to be lamenting, but it's just tragic.

2:45 am
i'm going out sleepwalking
where mute memories start talking
the boss that couldn't help but hurt you
and the pretty thing he made desert you
i'm going out now like a baby
a naïve unsatisfiable baby
grabbing onto whatever's around
for the soaring high or the crushing down
with hidden cracks that don't show
but that constantly just grow
i'm looking for the man that attacked me
while everybody was laughing at me
you beat it in me that part of you
but i'm gonna split us back in two
tired of living in a cloud
if you're gonna say shit now you'll do it out loud
it's 2:45 in the morning
and i'm putting myself on warning
for waking up in an unknown place
with a recollection you've half erased
looking for somebody's arms to
wave away past harms
i'm walking out on center circle
the both of you can just fade to black
i'm walking out on center circle
been pushed away and i'll never go back

Hi Again

I want to speak words so powerful that they have physical form. You know, the kind of thing where you can say something and perhaps see the words form in the air, or speak something so negative that the breath you exhale as you say it is a small black hole. That sort of business.

How can I be God if I don't even believe in myself?

Pigs

If you show me your heart, I'll show you mine



Man is God





I am so utterly tired of not living like I'm God

This is the first day of my life

Thank you, everyone.

I almost didn't make it
This has been my hardest year

Hi

I think I'm almost there. I really really do. I have some cool new links and things that I think everyone should see. I'm not really in the mood for directing traffic to anyone else's site right now, but if you want to check out what I read, the sites I visit, the things I do when I'm online, I suggest you navigate to del.icio.us/nchase. If you don't already know about del.icio.us, it's a very cool social bookmarking site. I suggest that everyone start using it, and we can share bookmarks and stuff, and it will be fun in many ways.

Delicious!

del.icio.us


I know I must have mentioned this before. I've been using this service for a long time, but I haven't really been using it actively until the last few days. Social bookmarking is awesome. Check it out. You can find me at http://del.icio.us/nchase

A great article

That counters the absolutely idiotic flamefest at Slashdot. Steam is good. Steam works. Steam Steam lol.

Metal Gear Solid 3 at Penny Arcade

I don't necessarily agree with everything in this review, as I adore the MGS series, but I found this article to be highly entertaining. I haven't picked this game up yet due to lack of money and general lack of life in my bones. Fuck you.

We were listening to a codec conversation yesterday that was so long, so God damned long, that the entire Earth was destroyed, remade, and our species achieved a level of development commensurate with what had risen before.

I will try to sum up what is going on and going through my head in single words.

paper
music
blame
program
hate
love
empty
eye
smoke
smith
officer
tired
malice
regret

(The preceding are in no particular order)

You dis my dog, you fluff my hog

I said that if you speak against Weldon then you are about to enter a world where the only activity that exists is tasting my hog

New Nas

I just started listening to the advance leak of this album, "Street's Disciple." So far, one track stands out a lot as being very good and true: Coon Picnic. I encourage everyone to listen to this song and realize that so many of the black personalities we see on TV (Especially BET and UPN. Fuck those channels!) are nothing more than minstrels and they really make blacks look terrible. Not only that, but young blacks see these characters (I emphasize "characters") on TV and think that it's cool and acceptable to act that way. This perpetuates a lot of the ignorant behavior that young black people engage in today. So we have other races watching these channels and believing that that's all we're about, and impressionable black minds watching this garbage and being influenced by it, and SHOWING everyone that that's all we're about. It's all very fucked up, and if you don't believe it's true, try catching some of the quality programming on those channels. I was not aware that my life was supposed to be entirely comprised of acting the fool, fucking, and thugging. I'm going to add a link at the bottom of this post, because I think this is an important message that needs to get out, and music is a good medium for any message. I'll take the link down in a week or so, I think.


Nas - Coon Picnic (These Are Our Heroes)

Hi, I took the files off my UD webspace because there simply wasn't enough space for me to do my work and have the file available there. Now it's on yousendit.com and um, there are only a few downloads available. Please comment if you need me to re-up it.

Is this a joke?

Bright Eyes scores #1 single!

This is SO unlikely. I'm beyond shocked, if this is real, which it seems to be...

Complex!

Life is very complex. I wonder, I wonder if it will ever become a little more routine. And if it does, will I enjoy it. I like the complexities in life, but I wish I knew more. Sometimes I wish I could wake up and find everything to be different. I realize it's in my power to do this, but it's hard to break away from some things...
Yeah , what I want right now isn't complete and total change but I'd like to see what life would be like for me if I hadn't lived it exactly the same way up to this point in time. Had I done things a little bit differently, would they turn out this way? There's no real way to know, but I can try to simulate these different possibilities for the present. I'd like to do that sometimes, I really would. I think that may be the path to finding happiness. I have yet to really feel like I've found my "niche", you know? The place where I belong , and the thing that I can do for all time as an occupation that will also give me relative happiness. It will be nice to be happy about the work I'm doing. If I can be happy about working (which allows me to be happy in other ways like being able to have nice surroundings/habitat, and buying my loved ones nice things), then I'll have a large part of the puzzle figured out.

Mysteries of Life

In life, there are some things that are discretely good and discretely bad. Examples of good things: a meal, success. Examples of bad things: rape, murder self destruction.

Those are quite clear.

What I am curious about is the things that are in the middle and are not necessarily good or bad. Those things compose most of the world. Also, are there more obviously bad things than obviously good things in this world? Is it easier to spot something harmful than something helpful? I think so. I wish I had a better grasp on what was "good" for me so that I would know what I should or shouldn't be doing. Not everyone is the same, and not everyone can follow the same set of rules.

What I've been up to:

Some studying and working for school; not too much, maybe not enough.
Lots of reading of articles and information on the internet.
Some automation of my Everquest playing, which frees me up for other things.
Some exploration of my mind through various outlets, one of them being sleep. Lots of sleep going on here.
Some general exercise so as to keep me from falling into to deep a depression.
Lots of listening to music on my computer and general fooling around and toying with programs and just having a grand old time with my computer. I love computers, <3 gadgets.

The new Sage Francis LP was released on the internet and it's very very very good. For those of you who enjoyed Personal Journals, I recommend it. I enjoyed "Hope" , his LP that was produced exclusively by fellow Rhode Island-ian Joe Beats. But this is nothing like hope. Good old, emotional, crazy Sage Francis. I'll buy this when it comes out, for sure.

Having a good old time listening to some good new shit: Part 2 of 2