The Greatest Game Ever Played

Apparently they put something in the water supply during the superbowl, or the gatorade, or something. The players were all fighting at first, and then it was like they all became retarded. Sitting down and rocking back and forth on their legs. Taking off their helmets and just screwing around, running in circles, dancing. This was terror. This was the true meaning of fear. This was everything gone wrong. I saw this in a fancy restaurant, and everyone was silent as it happened. When people grew silent and stared at the television, I stared too. First, nothing seemed wrong, the players were all there. I thought there was a shooting in the stands or something. The announcers ceased to talk as well. I thought perhaps there had been a terrorist attack, like what had been thought of as a possibility during big events in the past. Then, Andy Staples punched Brett Huckleberry in the head, very hard, and I knew things couldn't be right. The fighting continued, and it looked like they would go back to the game for a few seconds, and then all hell would break loose. Soon afterward, they turned into clowns. It was like a bunch of fucking broken toys who couldn't figure out what their main function was any more. As funny as it was, we couldn't laugh because of the fear. How did this happen? Who would do such a thing? Were we susceptible to such an attack? We had none of the answers, and every conceivable question. We had our heroes turning into children on the television screen in front of us. Everyone in the nation was watching a nightmare unfold before their eyes, a nightmare they never even knew existed.